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I don’t know about Jesus but I know what my Mum would say

My mother passed away on Tuesday after a very slow and steady detachment from life. People say that times like this are hard, my Mum would say “one door closes and another door opens” so one life ends as another begins. Somewhere out there a child has been created.
Mum wasn’t a woman for sitting around moping, “life goes on and so must you”. Mum was very brave and dealt with what life threw at her, so I can’t really act down in the dumps, she wouldn’t appreciate it.
I could be angry, I feel slightly cheated but as soon as I start to form the words I can hear Mum say “Life isn’t fair”. And what argument can be put to that? It’s not fair, but this is the way things have turned out.
I am sad, I had hoped that having a baby would bring myself and my mother closer together, but some things in life are not meant to be and as my mum would say, “there’s no use crying over spilt milk”. So there’s not much use for my tears either. I haven’t cried, I’m not sure I will, I’ve done all my crying for my mum Months ago anyway.

In her last few days I imagined relatives that had passed away gathering in the house awaiting Mum’s depature, maybe just her Mum and Dad maybe a whole gang. I imagined them being pleased to be able to look in on what we were all doing, the idea gave me some peace that Mum wasn’t alone.
I like to follow the saying “things happen for a reason”. I can’t fathom the reason for the mistakes made which robbed my Mum of extra time, they said she didn’t have cancer when she did and by the time they double checked themselves it was too late to do anything. With the quality of her life vastly reduced she slowly degraded. I don’t want to remember the Mum I came home to.
I’ll remember the Mum who liked a drink now and then, who worked out a lot harder than me at the gym, she actually did dance like no one was watching, she didn’t care. Mum loved shopping and keeping up with her soaps. Mum liked modern music, and also had a good sense of humour.
We didn’t always see eye to eye, but we did love each other and I miss her, I really wish I could see her play with Alice I wish my mum could tell me what she thought of Alice. I never knew how much I wanted that until it was too late.
“Be grateful for what you’ve got”! That’s what my mum would say.

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